Peppers
Best read very slowly while listening to Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club
Band.
It had to have been our junior year in high school. I had walked you
home a thousand time, even carrying your books. We talked of school, my
guitar lessons, the CYO trips and you always spoke of Gerard. At the
dances on Friday night, you and Gerard were always together, on the
school trips and, and at CYO meetings when all us kids were together it
was you and Gerard. But I was the one who walked you home, maybe it was
kind of on my way home, but not really.
I was so terribly shy those days. It was impossible for me to talk to
you of feelings. You were so far above. You seemed perfect. Your
blue/green eyes, soft hair, the way your eyes always teared when it got
cold.
"Are you crying," I asked.
"No, my eyes always tear when it is very cold," you said with a soft
smile.
And I remember feeling so bold asking about your legs. I had always
loved your legs, the curve at your knee, the arch of the muscles in the
back of your calves, the way you walked with long strides.
On that cold, cold day that made your eyes tear, I asked, "Aren’t your
legs cold in the winter with nothing but those nylons?"
"No, not cold," you replied. I was so young, so shy, so naïve, I felt I
had spoken about sex with you that day.
In the spring, the prom was coming up. Everyone had chosen my date for
me, Michelle, the new blond girl from Paris who had taken a shine to
me. Somehow I did not return the shine. She was handsome and
beautifully proportioned. But I hadn’t take a step I needed to take.
Walking you home, I, the Monday before the big Friday, I asked a
question I knew the answer of. "Did Gerard ask you to the prom?" I
knew the answer because he would not have asked, it would have been a
given.
"No, not asked…."
"Would you go with me?" My heart pounded like only a adolescent’s
could. My face flushed, shocked at my own preposterous suggestion.
"How could I?" you replied without thinking of the hurt it might do.
"Because I love you." Such words were a bursting of virginity for me.
Word that were spoken in other times to many others and in other places,
words that were sincere when spoke later, words that sounded the same,
words that did have meaning, but never the sincerity, the sound nor the
meaning that they had that day. Me at the foot of your porch stairs,
you at the top of the stairs, your hand on the side door and there on a
hot day in the middle of May, I saw tears again on your eyes. I did
not ask, because I knew this time you were crying, no sound from your
throat, no curling of your lip in the smile of sadness, no pressing at
the sides of your eyes in grimace, but a streaming of wet tears from
eyes that saw a boy becoming a man who she knew loved her, but to whom
she knew she could not return the love, though she did not really know
why.
The years passed. So many years. The comings and goings of loves
between us both. And the marriages, too. Your moving to New Jersey, me
to Japan. You back home then to Victoria, Canada, then back home. On a
trip back home, I take the car my mom lends me and drive to the old
house where I grew up on Woodbury St. and park the car outside. Other
people live there now, so I just alight and look at the porch and the
yard where I played so often.
I decide to take a walk around the neighborhood and find myself outside
the home I walked you to so many times. I look over from the white
picket fence at the porch and you emerge.
Like the moon to the tides, your eyes attract. Your lids widen, mine
simply gape.
I open the gate and walk to the porch and see you up there and walk up.
On the top step, a step from the porch I wait. You walk to me.
"You?" you ask knowing the answer.
"Yes. It’s me. I didn’t think ….." My reply muffled as you wrap your
arms around my neck, my face buried in your chest. You rock your
shoulders. And press me to you.
"I’ve thought of you so many times these years," you say.
You release my head and I look up into your lovely eyes. "I named my
daughter for you," I say truthfully.
I see you bend down a little, take my hand in yours and turn and walk me
inside your home. Your home. I walk through the rooms I knew so long
ago, so afraid of these rooms then, so in awe. You bring me through the
living room, pass the kitchen, down the steps, into the basement where
so long ago I came bringing my Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
album you wanted to hear. On the wall a faded poster, 20 years ago we
spoke about. In the rack, dreams sticking out.
I move to sit on the couch, you shake your head and motion to the chair
near the stereo. I sit there. Remember this, you go to the stereo, and
put in a CD.
[note the quotes below are all from Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band
in order]
"It was twenty years ago today"
You look at me and pull the bottom of the couch out to a bed, and stand
before me slowly unbuttoning your blouse, one by one, till it is loose
and you remove it and throw it aside.
"We hope you will enjoy the show."
You toss your bra aside and shimmy out of your skirt, underneath, high
heels, thigh highs, and panties. You look me in the eyes remove the
panties, and kneel before the chair in which I sit and start to undress
me. My shirt gone. I pull off my undershirt as I feel my belt loosened
and unclasped and my shoes pulled off to get my pants down and off, and
…
"With a Little Help From My Friends"
I’m naked in the chair as you are, almost, on your knees before me. You
take my cock in your mouth quickly and deeply and press down there,
holding me in your mouth your tongue, circling.
"Do you need anybody.
I need somebody to love"
You suck me in and out of your mouth in slow motions the music around my
ears, your lips around my prick, my rising desire for you become
physical for the first time in my life.
"Could it be anybody,
I want somebody to love."
You suck me in and out of your mouth hard and fast, licking up and down
the shaft. Looking me in the eyes, your tongue licking my cockhead,
tracing the rim with the tip and you squeeze me very hard till a bead of
precum pearls out. You look at it and at my eyes. And with your eyes
glued to mine you lick the precum up to your tongue.
"I get by with a little help from my friends."
I raise you by the shoulders and stand by you. Both of us stand there
in the basement where we talked of the meaning of words.
"Picture yourself in a boat on a river"
I hold you tight and feel my hard risen cock against your stomach. I
lift you from under your arms and without a touch find my prick
entering you and as you straddle my hips with your legs my cock fills
you.
"Climb in the back with your head in the clouds,
And you’re gone"
Standing there you perched on my body, we move in slow frantic, fast
deep longing movements, my hard cock in you as your hands cling to me,
as my body enters yours as your body emerges. Your eyes look to mine in
energy of passion.
"The girl with the kaleidoscope eyes."
I lay you down on the bed and in strokes long and neat and full,
"It’s getting better all the time."
You feel the thickness of my prick fill your cunt and my hands on the
sides of your head, as …
"It’s getting better since you’ve been mine."
I work down in you in a deep fuck, your legs held wide by your own
hands, feeling the deepest penetration. My skin on yours, my body,
pressing on you, my hips moving deeper in you, my lips touching yours
in a breathing frenzy, a rocking of waists, a solid connecting, a
massive meeting of our bodies…..
"And it doesn’t matter if I’m wrong
I’m right
Where I belong I’m right.
Where I belong."
The deep plunges of body to body work in rhythm to the deep flesh to
flesh enjoyment of you, the enjoyment you find in my passion and the
meeting of my flesh to the missing insides of your cunt.
"Standing alone at the top of the stairs"
I begin to cum in you. The deep spray of my production massing down in
your body, filling you with meaningful capturing delight, you shake your
head side to side. Holding it to the right then to the left as masses
of strong orgasm pool up in your face, toss about in your breasts,
through a sweeping movement in your thighs and legs.
"Ten summersets he’ll undertake on solid ground."
Our bodies quake against each other. Till we subside in after glow. My
lips on your ear. As we fall to sleep. Deep afternoon nap. A moving
loving embrace.
Deep in the night we awake, the CD playing and replaying,
"Try to realize it’s all within yourself no-one else
can make you change."
In the night, I feel your hands caress my prick till it gets hard, my
body just relaxing then your hair brushing down my body as your lips
find my hard part and you take it in your mouth. You fill your mouth
with my prick and hold there an impossibly long time, how long hard in
your mouth, how long building up a new load for you.
"Who could ask for more."
You lick around and around my head, rub my balls, stroke my shaft, make
me cum, till, my balls give up all that they are worth to you waiting,
willing, loving mouth. You feel the semen liquefy your tongue, not a
movement from me, just the jerking of my prick in your mouth.
"Nothing can come between us."
My body sinking deep in the delight of you.
We sleep again. My pillow cotton, yours flesh on a rising and falling
stomach. A dancing night of love and skin and hard soft cool giving and
returning.
We wake late but still…
"Good Morning, Good Morning."
You get dressed quickly. And you say.
"Sorry but it is time to go."
And you are gone. I watch you walk out of the room that is yours and
here I am, naked in the bed of the woman I wanted so long ago and had
her this night. Not knowing what to do I look around. Suddenly the
door opens again and you walk slowly to the bed and sit there a second,
you hand me the paper.
"a lucky man and made the grade…
the English army had won the war…
Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire"
You lean over and kiss me full on the lips. "There is a note for you in
the kitchen, about tonight."
I look at you and see a smile at the corners of your lips, and under
both eyes, a tears, not of cold, not of confusion, but of love a kind of
love made for me. The best tears of all. The only tears that are
desired. They dressed you in our love. And mine tear as…
You are gone again and I dress to go and go to the kitchen. A note
about tonight, and there it is stuck to the fridge by a magnet hook with
the keys I assume must be to lock, and unlock the front door. I take
the keys and look at the note about this evening and it says….
"I’d love to turn you on."
